Wednesday, March 26, 2014

Weight-loss Woes

As long as I can remember, even back to when I was a little kid, I was the "big" one. Of course, I was a good FOOT taller than any of the girls or boys until about seventh grade, but I was also the fat one. You can pick me out easy as pie (Wish I had a slice of pie. Come on, Easter!) in all of my elementary school class photos, because I'm the one on the back row, standing right beside the teacher, and almost just as tall.

I joined weight watchers for the first time in fourth grade. My amazing mama had to go with me to the meetings, and I remember her diligently cooking two or three separate meals for our 3-person household so I could eat nothing but grilled chicken, salads, sauteed vegetables, and flounder for weeks. It worked for a while, and i was SO grateful to lose a few pounds, but then it slowly crept back on. I remember being in fourth grade and not able to shop at the Limited Too anymore. I was too big. I had to shop at the regular Limited store with the grown-ups, but I was just a little girl, so the options were limited (no pun intended). I was in a size 14 ladies.

Then, once again, I joined Weight Watchers in middle school. Then again once in high school. By my senior year, I was heavier than ever, thanks in part to becoming very sick my junior year and a severe bout with depression. The weight kept creeping up and finally I went to college, even bigger than before.

The cycle has never ended for me. Until now. Something finally clicked when I came home from living in Savannah. I had broken up with my boyfriend, was eating fast food at least two meals a day, not exercising except to walk to my local Mexican restaurant for margaritas, and was desperately longing for home. Any weight I had lost while living in Savannah had come right back with a vengeance. Thankfully, when I moved home, that all changed.

I was a working woman with a structured schedule, happier than I had been in a while, and realized that I was better than that. Deserved more than just being the "big" girl and deserved to be proud of myself. It's a struggle that I fight everyday. I have NO problem with going to the gym and putting in the work, but food is my addiction. More specifically, ALL the FAST FOOD GOODNESS. People always ask exactly how much weight I've lost, and the truth is, I really don't know. Things had gotten so bad, I stopped weighing myself. The doctor says about 30-40 pounds.

left: in Savannah, June 2012. right: March 2014, with about a 35-pound difference

I'm going to be talking about my workouts, meals, and struggles on this blog. Thanks for reading and supporting me through this!